A Story

The businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a
small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were
several large yellowfin tuna. The businessman complimented the Mexican
on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while.

The businessman then asked why he didn’t stay out longer and  catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The businessman then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time? The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos; I have a full and busy life, señor.”

The businessman scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats; eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor and eventually open your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City where you would run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But señor, how long will this all take?” To which the businessman replied, “15-20 years.” “But what then, señor?” The businessman laughed and said, “That’s the best part! When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.” “Millions, señor? Then what?” The businessman said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “Isn’t that what I’m doing right now?”

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When people ask me what will I do after I graduate,I usually give one of 2 different answers: I will probably find a crappy job and continue living my crappy life some more. I’ve never lived up to people’s expectations. I’ve never done something that is beneficial for someone else. I wasted my time on idiotic things…

Let me admit it.. I’m nobody without her…

She was the one who made me laugh, look the world with a sarcastic and at the same time, enjoyable perspective.

When I am alone, I am pitiful. I don’t like it. I wanted her to be with me. I wanted somebody to be with till the end. Never let me be alone. For that word, alone. King says, “it is the key word. The most awful word in the English tongue. Murder doesn’t hold a candle to it and hell is only a poor synonym.”

She left me.. I wanted her to left me. She makes me depressed. She is bad for my health and threatens my sanity. I must get rid of her. She must not be in my life. For her, I must not do anything and remember her. She must never be in my life again.

Then a phone call…

My Pretty Troublemaker calling…

Will you answer? Should I answer? Didn’t know the answer.. Couldn’t do anything for the first few seconds.. Then a decision, open up that shit.. You will never again take that call. When you are in a pinch life never gives you a helping hand. Nobody gives nobody a helping hand. People are always alone. Nobody cares about anybody.

I opened up the phone.

“Hey! What’s up? To what do I owe this phone call?” I’ve never had your call before was the correct …

And here it goes another unfinished as well as being without a beginning story…

I love myself.

I’ve never once in my life hated myself.

I don’t hate my high specs, my half-asses good looks and my pessimistic and pragmatic outlook.

I don’t hate them at all, but it looks like I’m gonna hate myself for the first time ever.

In my eyes, She was always beautiful, never lied, was sincere, and stood on her own two feet regardless of whether she had any support.

I’m sure I admired Her I saw. I selfishly held high hopes for her, selfishly burdened her with my ideals, thought I understood her,  and selfishly got disappointed by her.

I’d warned myself about this over and over again, but it looks I haven’t been cured of it all.

Everyone lies, and She is no exception.

Here I am, finding myself unable to forgive something so obvious and ordinary.

And I…

hate myself for it.

Hey Guys! (10000s of clicks)

Hey pals.

 

Today, I’d like to tell you something that I am not sure if I’m proud of. Today, this website you see, got its 10000th view(er).

Also, I am too tired today. I finished my examination week in school and it was kind of tiring,

If you are interested, I can give you some statistics.

I know it is not a big deal that this website got 10000 views because at least I know that I never tried hard to make this site popular.  Anyway, it is not popular.

In this situation my feelings could be more like stitch‘s

I was looking my statistics… :/ Maybe I shouldn’t share..

I currently have 279 posts.5 categories and 913 tags.

I had a friend who was writing with me sometimes. You know her by nickname davetsiz or DM. However, I am alone right now. I liked these gifs above. So, even though I am not so happy about this, even that I am so tired I can’t spell any words correct at the first time, which leads me to write almost every word twice, I am sharing this. Maybe someday I open a random post from my website and this comes, then maybe these gifs can bring a smile on my face. 🙂

Have a nice weekend.

I hate nice girls.

Just exchanging greetings with them will get them on your mind.

Start texting each other, and your heart will be set a flutter.

If they call you, you’re done for.

Enjoy staring at your logs and grinning like a fool.

However, I won’t get fooled again.

That is what your kind calls kindness.

If you’re nice to me, you’re also nice to others.

I always end up nearly forgetting that.

Reality is cruel, so I’m sure lies are a form of kindness.

Thus, I say kindness itself is also a lie.

I always ended up with these expectations.

And I always ended up these misunderstandings.

And before I knew it, I stopped hoping.

Here are some quotes from David Gregory Roberts. Who is he? Check this out.

“Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears.” 

“Some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. Some things are so sad that only your soul can do the crying for them.” 

“She loved the guy. She did it for him. She would’ve done anything for him. Some people are like that. Some loves are like that. Most loves are like that, from what I can see. Your heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out—your friends, everyone you used to know. And it’s still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking, and you know it’s going to take you down with it. I’ve seen that happen to a lot of people here. I think that’s why I’m sick of love.” 

“I don’t know what frightens me more, the power that crushes us, or our endless ability to endure it.” 

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